The romance of archeology: extract – V

Magoffin, R.V.D, Davis, Emiy C.The romance of archeology, Garden City Publishing Company Inc., 1929, New York

Chapter Eight: Archaeology in British Isles, p 173-174

The stone huts cleared of sand are large, with ceilings as high as ten feet, but the doors are low, so that even a short man must stoop to enter. Inside a typical house were found stone tables, stone cupboard shelves, a fireplace, and scattered household articles of a seaside home of the Stone Age — bone laddles, drinking cups of whalebone, simple earthenware dishes, and polished stone axe-heads. in addition there were beads and amulets of walrus ivory, which the fishermen and their dark-haired wives wore to set off their costumes of animal skins or to ward off evil. An unexpected discovery was that huts were connected by a network of indoor streets made of roofed-over stone passages. The untidy villagers cast kitchen refuse on the roofs of these indoor streets, and at times even built campfire there and cooked their meals.

In the corner of one cottage the archaeologists discovered a mysterious grave containing two skeletons. These appear to be not the remains of inhabitants of the stone house but victims entombed by some gruesome rite when the house was built. Barbarians elsewhere have been known to sacrifice a victim at the foundation of a new building in order to confer a magic stability upon its walls. The meaning of the burials is carved in plain view on a slab in front of the grave; but the marks have defied modern scholarship. They are like, and yet unlike, runic letters.

Magic Items for Halloween!

Handbag of the Crawling Hand

Wondrous Item, uncommon (requires attunement)

This bag can holdup 40 pounds, not exceeding a volume of 2 cubic feet. Inside is a (undead) crawling hand that helps you by retrieving any item in the bag without the need to use an action. If the bag is ever damaged beyond repair, the crawling hand exits the bag and attacks the nearest target.

Slimy Padded Vest of Ooze Summoning

Armor (Padded), very rare (requires attunement)

+2 leather armor.  In addition, you have advantage on Strength (athletics or acrobatics) checks to escape a grapple.

Each time you have lost 22 hit points (cumulative) while wearing this armor,  a gray ooze appears 5′ from you and is under your control until next dawn (and then liquefy). You can have up to 4 oozes under your control at the same time.

Hand Wraps of the Grave

Wondrous Item, very rare (requires attunement)

You gain + 1 to attack and damage rolls made with an unarmed melee attack. In addition, each time you hit the target takes another 1d4 cold damage.

This item has 5 charges. You can spend one charge to cast Chill Touch. To regain all expanded charges you must put the Wraps of the Grave on a dead body for one night.

Grave-cured Tobacco

John-constantine

Expandable Item, uncommon

Air-dried in the long disused Best Forgotten massgrave, grave-cured tobacco is smoked mostly by the Vestige residents for its vaunted power of warding evil spirits, useful in this sad neighborhood. Outside of the Vestige few folks, except perhaps those with an intense superstitious inclination, feel the need to pay its steep cost.

Effects:

  • Undead have disadvantage on attack vs smoker for 10 minutes
  • Blowing smoke at an undead (5′), as a bonus action, triggers a frightened effect (wisdom, DC 13)

Average price: 5sp for 12 uses

The romance of archeology: extract – IV

Magoffin, R.V.D, Davis, Emiy C.The romance of archeology, Garden City Publishing Company Inc., 1929, New York

Chapter 5: The Glorious Past of Hellas, p107-108

In the argolid, on a mountain spur 912 feet high, Schliemann in 1876 first found a double ring (87 feet in diameter) of stone slabs. Twenty-three feet below the surface he came upon the first of five graves. In it and the others (a sixth grave was discovered later) were found face masks of solid gold, bracelets, rings, daggers (sixty swords and daggers in one tomb), ivory, amber, silver, bronze, alabaster, diadems, pendants, grasshopers of gold with chains of gold wherewith the royal ladies attached them as ornaments on their dresses or in their hair; more than seven hundred ornaments in all. Nothing to equal this had ever been found before. Small wonder, it is not, that the world got into training for an archeological race?

The romance of archeology: extract – III

Magoffin, R.V.D, Davis, Emiy C.The romance of archeology, Garden City Publishing Company Inc., 1929, New York

Chapter 3: Glamor of the Gift of the Nile, p67

Reisner believed  from the first that he had discovered, not a burial, but a reburial. Pharaoh Sneferu had made a tomb for his queen Hetepheres near his own pyramid at Dahshur. Sneferu died and was entombed. When Hetepheres died, her son Cheops placed her mummy in the prepared tomb, as is proved by inscriptions. Thieves broke into Queen Hetepheres’ tomb, but were discovered, and of course killed, before much treasure, if any, had been carried away. Cheops, seemingly, was having a secret tomb prepared near his own pyramid, but did not wait for its completion, but removed his mother to it at once.

Inside the tomb chamber was a marble sarcophagus, over which lay a number of faïence-inlaid sheets of gold. On the floor were several chairs overlaid with gold, and a set of eight marvelous toilet jars of alabaster. on what was left of a palanquin and bed were four identical inscriptions which, when translated, say: « the mother of the King of Upper and Lower Egypt, the Follower of Horus, the guide of the ruler, the favorite one whose every word is done for her, the daughter of the god of his body, Hetepheres.  » Inside a gold-encased box […] containing deben rings,  » were found two sets of ten anklets. These rings for the legs are inlaid with dragon flies of malachite, lapis lazuli, and red carnelian. They are of different diameters, graduated in size to fit the leg. On the floor also were discovered three cups of gold, two gold and five copper razors, three gold and four copper knives, as well as several flint knives and many pieces of pottery and alabaster. To the dismay of the excavators, when the lid of the sarcophagus was raised, no mummy was inside. It must have been hidden somewhere else.

The romance of archeology: extract – II

Magoffin, R.V.D, Davis, Emiy C.The romance of archeology, Garden City Publishing Company Inc., 1929, New York

Chapter 3: The Glamor of the Gift of the Nile, p 58

Queen Hatshepsut’s temple architect, Senmut, seems to have been this Egyptian Elizabeth’s Essex. In building the temple for his queen, he introduced his own portrait behind various doors in it. In the season 1927-1928, the Metropolitan Museum’s Egyptian Expedition found he had also dared to start a tomb for himself deep down and directly beneath her temple. Only one room of his tomb had been decorated before his downfall. Its ceiling represents a chart of the heavens, the best, and one of the earliest astronomical charts thus far found. Senmut also brought down from Assuan to Karnak two granites obelisks 97 1/2 feet high for the Queen’s jubilee. They were the tallest obelisks ever made with the one exception of that erected at Heliopolis by her enemy (and also her half-brother and nephew), Thothmes III […]

Isaac’s adventures- II

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Me: You’ve reached the Rock Pillar, in the middle of the desert. There’s a giant two-headed vulture perched on the summit. It takes to the air and descend on you! What do you do?

My son: Vultures eat dead meat, dad… It won’t eat me!

Me: Yy-yer right! (whenever Isaac comes up with something, I try to go with it) It approaches, still in the air, its two heads start bickering:

Head # 1: Ya see, I told ya, the flightless is not nearly dead!

Head # 2: Just wait a lil’ longer, maybe it’ll die and then… We’ll feast!

My son: I feel fine!

Head # 2: Crap!

Head # 1: See ya next time!

The romance of archeology: extract

 

I’m gonna put a bunch of these extracts on my blog. I fucking love this book. The writing… the entertainment value is incredible!

Magoffin, R.V.D, Davis, Emiy C., The romance of archeology, Garden City Publishing Company Inc., 1929, New York

téléchargement

Chapter One: The spade is mightier than the pen, p10

The recall of the veterans to arms was sponsored by Alcibiades, handsome, aristocratic, very rich, and very clever, and quite the most gifted in effrontery of any Athenian of that time; and in the sequel he proved to be the most debonair of all the plausible rascals of history. The soldiers, and boys under military age, and the discharged veterans all leaped to the call of opportunity. Our veteran in Euboea got together what little he needed, and then, before he left his new little house, he buried in a terra-cotta pot under his floor the balance of his money, among the pieces being a number of the new coins that had been minted that very year and paid to him when he was discharged. He hurried to Athens, was enrolled, and sent on board the fleet which was so eager to go that the ships raced one another down the Saronic gulf, as all the women of Attica on top of the houses at Piraeus waved them bon voyage. The expedition was the greatest debâcle of history. The entire force was killed or captured. The pot of coins, after 2,333 years, turned up accidentally by a spade in 1921, is one of the thousands of pitiful mortalities of that ill-starred expedition now archeologically authenticated.

Session 7e – Tiryki River – day 7

The PCs are now very near their objective (the grippli village of Three Cascades) but they’ve decided to sidetrack a little, following the clues found on a dead explorer that pointed to a place called « Firefinger ».

Characters

  • Flyzus, Wood Elf Ranger (hunter), Outlander; sole survivor of his tribe after an orc invasion
  • Varis, Drow Rogue (thief), Far traveller; exiled scion of a noble family on the losing side of a feud
  • Droidoc, Halfling Druid (circle of the moon), Outlander; was there when Camp Righteous fell, now he’s a cannibalistic loony

Day 7

Angry Green Grippli (1)

River – N-C encounter

Brandishing a stick and yelling at them, the green grippli standing on a rock didn’t seem too happy to see the PCs. Unfortunately, none of them had any means to understand or communicate with the frogman. (2)

Leeches, they suck

River – Combat

Rapids in the river forced the PCs to portage again but while they were getting their canoe out of the water, two Giant Leeches attacked them. The PCs killed the creatures and kept going, less a pint or two of blood.

The Boots I Needed

River – Combat

Anaconda-ref

A huge Constrictor Snake sprang from under the water and tried to get away with one passenger but ever-alert Droidoc reacted quickly, shapeshifting into a snake himself. The confusing battle left once again the PCs as victors. (3)

6 arms is better than 4

Jungle – Camp – Combat

Now the PCs had got out of the river and hid their canoe expertly. They were a day’s walk from this Firefinger they wished to find. Setting camp attracted the attention of a local resident. Varis poisoned bolt hampered greatly the monstrous 4-armed ape’s combat ability. A moment later, after a quick melee, the severely wounded Girallon tried to flee but the PCs, as usual, were having none of it.

Day 8, morning (end of session)

Parrotbears (4)!

Jungle- Combat

Walking through the dense vegetation, the PCs spotted two parrotbears (4) a mere 200 feet away. The pair was moving directly toward them so the PCs prepared for battle. First, Droidoc cast a Spike Growth spell. One parrotbear moved directly through it, taking full damage, while the other circled around. Varis and Flyzus shot at range the wounded beast, killing it. The surviving parrotbear, far from dissuaded, charged its foes but soon rejoined its mate as worms’ food.

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GrrrRRrr?

DM’s notes

  1. Grungs or gripplis, I don’t really care, all I know is that I don’t want them to be yet another evil humanoid race
  2. Just a bit of foreshadowing
  3. we were playing sunday morning with a 12 hrs session the day before, this part is a little hazy to me…
  4. Parrotbear or Dire Kakapo, which is more evocative?
  5. refluffed owlbears, ’cause jungle!

Session 7d- Tiryki River – day 6

Characters

  • Flyzus, Wood Elf Ranger (hunter), Outlander; sole survivor of his tribe after an orc invasion
  • Varis, Drow Rogue (thief), Far traveller; exiled scion of a noble family on the losing side of a feud
  • Droidoc, Halfling Druid (circle of the moon), Outlander; was there when Camp Righteous fell, now he’s a cannibalistic loony

Day 6

Old River King

Crocodile head, Siem Reap Croc farm, Cambodia.

River – N-C encounter

A Giant Crocodile was basking in the morning sun on the riverbank. Oddly, a shotel (sword) was protuding out of its scaly back. Tempting, huh? (1) Well, Droidoc got up to the task. He shapeshifted into a rodent, jumped unto the giant lizard, unshapeshifted, managed to get the weapon free, reshapeshifted, tumbled down before the mildly-annoyed-but-also-kinda-relieved Old River King decided to swallow him whole. (2)

Pristine Waterfall, Naked Elf

Waterfall – Combat

Me: There’s a waterfall in view, you’ll have to portage again. »

Player C: « A waterfall? There must be a cave behind. There always is! »

Me: « Yeah, yeah, sure. It looks like there’s one!

Me, grinning evilly: « Soooo, who’s first? »

Players C and D: « Flyzus! »

Player F, a bit unsure: « Okay, I guess. »

Me: « You go through the waterfall and BlOoooOOOooooOoP *mime floating*… »

Player D: « Gelatinous Cube! »

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Flyzus was in a really bad spot (3). Droidoc and Varis slashed and bashed the ooze but to the Wood Elf it seemed like an eternity. Two times the druid healed him in extremis before he died from acid damage. Finally the Gelatinous Cube was defeated, releasing his now-naked and shaking prey.

Dinosaur Stampede

River – Combat

A few hours later, the relative tranquility of the jungle was shattered by an incredible ruckus, as a herd of brontosaurs crossed the river at full speed! The reason soon became apparent to the PCs:  BIG ASS MOSQUITOES! Or stirges rather, dozens, harassing the dinosaurs.  A few of these bloodsuckers spotted the adventurers and split from the main swarm. The PCs dispatched the nuisance effortlessly.

Light is Fast and Evil

Camp – Combat

Some kind of battle had happened there; rusted armors, broken weapons, but no corpses or bones. Ominous. But the PCs badly needed to rest (Flyzus in particular) so they set up camp. Varis was on duty and he saw light, two lights in fact, fast approaching. He quickly woke his companions and then the two light-creatures were upon them. The PCs weren’t sure what they were facing (4) but they soon got their hands full. The lights, will-o’-wisps, were really hard to hit and gave generous doses of shocking attacks. In the end, the adventurers prevailed but it was a hard-fought battle.

DM’s notes

  1. kinda like excalibur, or maybe not
  2. yay! a better sword for Flyzus
  3. The joy of a first time with a Gelatinous Cube!

Session 7c – Tiryki River – day 4 & 5

The first few days weren’t exactly uneventful, but being closer to Port Nyanzaru, things weren’t so rough either.  By the fourth day on the river Tiriki though, the three adventurers had some close calls…

Characters

  • Flyzus, Wood Elf Ranger (hunter), Outlander; sole survivor of his tribe after an orc invasion
  • Varis, Drow Rogue (thief), Far traveller; exiled scion of a noble family on the losing side of a feud
  • Droidoc, Halfling Druid (circle of the moon), Outlander; was there when Camp Righteous fell, now he’s a cannibalistic loony

Day 4

Ghouls?

River – Ambiance

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Piles of bones on the shores with humanish footsteps around gave the cue: ghoul territory…

Quicksand!

Portage – Jungle – N-C challenge – Combat

Droidoc failed to notice the danger and sank waist deep into a quicksand. The two (flimsy) elves threw him a rope but that wasn’t enough as something was holding unto him. They could see a clawed hand clasped to his back. After the creature began to rake him with its claws, the Halfling got really mad and he shapeshifted into a giant frog, quickly swallowing his assailant (a ghoul, of course) before disappearing under the surface. His companions were understandably upset for it seemed that quite some time had passed but then, sand erupted into a spectacular geyser as the giant frog jumped out of his predicament!

Giant_Frog_1

Floating Cadaver

River – Ambiance

Its face in the water, both legs missing, the PCs (wisely) stayed clear of the floating body.

Sometimes Darkvision is not Enough

River – Combat

Not very warm to the idea of making camp on friggin‘ ghoul territoty the PCs opted to paddle all night- or rather- Varis would paddle all night while his companions slept (!) on the canoe. That… did not went that well… Sure enough the Drow had no trouble seeing at night but- maybe it was sleep deprivation (1)- he couldn’t react fast enough when an assassin vine attacked him viciously from above. At least, his panicked and womanly screams did wake up Flyzus and Droidoc as their canoe went without direction. The dangling Varis soon lost consciousness as the plant’s lethal poison coursed through his veins. Fortunately, Droicoc could save him before it was too late, as he climbed up the tree in gorilla-form and applied much strength so that the drow fell in the river. Flyzus picked him up and they all fled further away, having survived one more day…

Day 5

Riverside Ruins

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River- Combat

Having finally put ghoul territory behind, the PCs felt they could do a bit of exploration. They had spotted some ruins, visible from the river. Crumbled walls and toppled columns, the site invaded by the surrounding vegetation, it sure felt like it could hide something interesting. Moving cautiously around so they could take a peep inside, the 3 companions could see someone standing idly aside a column. The stranger turned to face them, a yellow flower was emerging from one of his orbit instead of an eye.

« Musk Creeper » whispered the Halfling druid.

They started to shoot at the zombie but then Varis was distracted by an irresistible fragrance nearby that lured him toward the monstrous plant. Fortunately, he regained control of himself before he was turned into yet another zombie and together with Flyzus and Droidoc he slashed the Musk Creeper into pieces. They searched the now inert body of a dead explorer and rummaging through his stuff they found a map along with some notes that referred to a « Firefinger » (2).

Deinonychus Ambush

Portage – Combat

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Portage in the jungles of Chult is always a tense affair. This time the PCs were being followed by half a dozen deinonychus. The Elf ranger could figure that the predators had some kind of ambush prepared. The PCs could see a large fell tree, a perfect spot for a few more of the beasts to wait for them. Droidoc decided to take the initiative, he shapeshifted into a deinonychus himself and jumped on the tree to issue a challenge. He then pounce on one of the raptor, savaging him enough to make him flee. He then duelled the apparent pack alpha in a flurry of claws and bites. He had the upper hand again and gained the acknowledgement of the pack as the new (albeit temporary) leader (and an escort to the river).

Luxuriant

River- Combat

A Mantrap (monster plant again!) tried to lure the PCs nearer to the shore where it waited. Almost worked with Varis (3).

It can wait until morning

Camp – Combat

It was Flyzus’ turn awake while his companions slept, some ruckus alerted him and there he stood in front of a beautiful nubile woman with her leg in the bear trap that he had set… She asked for his help… Plaintively… He looked at the wounded leg, he looked at the attractive lightly-clad female, and said: « it can wait until morning » !!! (4)

She had other plans… Discarding disdainfully the bear trap, she let down her apparently useless magical disguise to reveal a (river) Sea Hag. She clawed angrily at the elf but he was too nimble. Flyzus was soon joined by the sleepy Varis and Droidoc and together they killed the ugly creature even as she attempted to dive in the river to flee.

The rest of the night was uneventful.

DM’s notes:

  1. he got a 1!
  2. exploration should be rewarded with riches (even in 5E), or at least, lead someday to riches.
  3. Varis’ player always roll bad against plant creatures it seems. The drow must have allergies or something!
  4. Flyzus’ player, poor young Félix, had no idea what to do… We had a good laugh!