Magic Items – Mean Streets

So what kind of magic items can you find in a « rough-and-tumble fantasy setting »? Here’s a few samples:

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Brass Knuckles of Button-Seeking

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Weapon, rare

Right on the button. Sleep well!

You gain + 1 to attack and damage rolls made with this magic weapon. In addition, the chance to score a critical hit is increased (19-20).

Chain of Inescapability

Weapon, rare (requires attunement)

You gain + 1 to attack and damage rolls made with this magic weapon. An opponent hit by this weapon cannot choose the disengage action nor can it use any kind of extradimensional movement as long as it is faced by the owner of the Chain.

Fist Cane of Brutality

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Weapon, uncommon

When you roll a 20 on your attack roll with this weapon, the target takes an extra d12 of force damage.

Lupin’s Briefs of Heroics

Wondrous Item, legendary (requires attunement by a bard)

Antique underwear of a Hero long gone. How the hell did you get them?!

While you wear these legendary briefs you can use bardic inspiration on yourself.

Hand Wraps of Grasping

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Weapon, rare

You have advantage on grapple checks when you’re the attacker. Doing so, you have a reach of 10′. In addition, you have advantage on Strength (athletics) checks that involves climbing.

Hat of  the Watchful Eye

Wondrous Item, uncommon

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You need to watch your back on these streets.

The hat have three charges. You can spend a charge to gain advantage on Wisdom (perception) checks for 10 minutes. The hat regains 1d3 expended charges daily at dawn.

Slimy Padded Vest of Ooze Summoning

Armor (Padded), very rare (requires attunement)

If you’re weird enough to wear this disgusting vest, you gain a + 2 bonus to AC.  In addition, you have advantage on Strength (athletics or acrobatics) checks to escape a grapple.

Each time you have lost 22 hit points (cumulative) while wearing this armor, you can use an action to summon a gray ooze that will be under your control until next dawn (and then liquefy). You can have up to 4 oozes under your control at the same time.

Hand Wraps of the Grave

Weapon, very rare

A ghoul stole it from a corpse. A buried one I mean.

You gain + 1 to attack and damage rolls made with this magic weapon. In addition, each time you hit the target takes another 1d4 cold damage.

This item have 5 charges. You can spend one charge to cast Chill Touch or more than one to increase its damage. To regain expanded charges you must put the Wraps of the Grave on a corpse for one night.

Brass Knuckles of Combos

Weapon, rare

When you make an attack roll on a target you already hit you gain a + 1 to attack and damage rolls made with this magic weapon. This is cumulative up to + 4. If you attack another target this benefit is lost. After a +4 bonus the combo is stopped and it begins anew.

Paldrons of Shoving

Wondrous Item, uncommon (requires medium armor proficiency)

Gives the wearer + 1 AC and advantage on Strength checks (athletics) for shoving an adversary.

Gloves of the Gecko

Wondrous Item, rare (requires attunement)

While wearing the Gloves of the Gecko, you can climb (without a check) any surface (even upside down) at a rate of 20′ maximum.

Wand of Smelling Salts

Weapon (staff), rare

The Wand of Smelling Salts has 3 charges. As a reaction, you can use 1 charge to remove a stunned conditon on yourself or someone within 5′ of you.

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The Furniture Mishandling Club

ec79677462d55591972cc5f6776ce7f3Les bahuts, monsieur, répliqua l’architecte, les bahuts, meuble obligé d’une maison moyen âge ! Le moyen âge et le bahut sont inséparables ! Le bahut, madame, ajouta-t-il, en se tournant vers Malvina, le bahut, c’est le coffre au linge, l’armoire à glace, la commode, le secrétaire de nos aïeux. Le bahut et le prie-dieu, voilà la grande ébénisterie du xive siècle !  (Louis ReybaudJérôme Paturot, 1842)

The members of the Furniture Mishandling Club (FMC) are known far and wide for their love of barricade building and their signature magic ability to cast animate object on, well, any furniture they can put their hands on. They even create furniture golems!

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Situation

The FMC loves gratuitous mayhem but it has also a knack for extortion (great many houses have been emptied by its operators). They now have under their control three sub-precincts, delimited with their infamous, almost impassable barricades.

One such particularly impressive wall of furniture is purely defensive. The FMC blocked the gate leading to the Kwag Slums, to prevent an invasion on their eastern side by those crazy Kwaggers.

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Gang Activities

  • extortion
  • intimidation
  • thieving
  • beating
  • reselling
  • tax to enter territory
  • cut from woodcraft’s guild

Most Noteworthy members

King Bahut (leader, dwarf)

The grizzled leader of the FMC was a member of the Resistance who fought against the Third Tyrant a century ago. It seems like he developped an obsession of barricades from this bloody era. He’s quite the brilliant guerilla tactician but he’s not entirely sane. He’s often found sitting on a gigantic, damaged throne that moves around.

Master Stool (dwarf)

A dwarf martial artist, he still laugh like a devil when he succeeds in tripping an opponent over  an animated stool with an adroit push of his quarterstaff, even after so many times.

Chairman Lookup (goblin)

Almost always on top of a barricade, the so-called Chairman loves to throw things from above. Chairs, bricks, rocks, nets, dead rats; he always prepare a good stash of ammos. He has a monkey pet that have strange, red, evil-looking eyes.

Maatelaah, Queen (of the) Bed (hobgoblin female)

When she’s not expertly directing the building of yet another pile of furniture, « Queen » Maatelaah loves to terrorize the neighborhood with a bunch of thugs, snatching anything she wants, the animated bed following her dutifully serving as transport.

Captain Chiffonnier (human male)

The pedantic « Captain » Chiffonier has a much profitable business relation with the woodcrafting’ s guild. Taking away so much furniture from the people in the vicinity of the FMC also creates a need and such an unscrupulous fellow as Chiffonier wants what he thinks is his due.


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At a leisurely pace

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Yeah… Okay, maybe not like that but palanquins? Definitely.

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You’re someone important? That’s how you go around!

After all, what better way to display your status?

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Yep

If you can’t afford having your own palanquin and its carriers, rent one!

  • The Steadfast Twenty: the smoothest ride in town is offered by this group of indistinguishable bare-chested dwarves.
  • The Hobgoblin Stompers: Iron-booted, dressed in spiked leather armors, the Stompers get you through a crowd without even slowing.
  • Mother Sigma’s Crew: If you don’t mind the putrid odor, this necromancer lady and her tireless minions offers the cheapest ride in town.
  • The Golden Cushion: The Broken Wheel gang have acquired these most extravagant of palanquins, previously owned by the Puulchesera elves before they were forced out of the Enclave with their evil curse & stuff. Now the Halflings mafiosi have set a small business with various carriers indebted to them operating the gilded, heavy palanquins.

Will the PCs ever pay for  a palanquin ride? Doubtful, because:

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Lorenzetti’s allegory of good and bad government

That’s great inspiration for my setting of Streets & Turmoil.

Ambrogio Lorenzetti: Allegory of good and bad government, paintings at the Council Room of the Nine, Palazzo Pubblico, City of Siena, Italy, 14th century.

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Securitas flying over the City.

Below: The City with a good government. Girls are dancing, traders are coming in, there’s plenty of open shops: all is well .

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Below: The good government itself,  presided by Old Ben. You know Ben, don’t you? Ben Comune (Common Good). He holds two ropes (cordia) that links him to the 24 elected citizens (city council) and with Concordia (left, bottom, in grey) and Justicia (sitting on a throne above Concordia). Each side of Justicia, rewards and punishments are being distributed: gifts, crowning, decapitation, y’know, usual judiciary stuff.

The trinity of angelic figures above Ben Comune are Faith, Hope and Charity. Besides him are six councilors. The slouched woman in a white gown is Peace (is she bored or something?). The others, in order, are Fortitude, Prudence, Magnanimity, Temperance and Justice (again).

Some guards watch prisoners, presumably from nobility (natural enemies of a Republic) that are prostrated and awaiting judgment.

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But don’t take nothing as granted. Horrible Timor (Fear) reminds us:

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Because everyone wants what’s good for themselves, in this City

Justice is subjugated to Tyranny.

And so no one can go

this way without fearing for his life,

since thievery is done both side of these walls. (1)

And so we get (Below): the City under a bad government (ironically or fittingly perhaps, the painting is a lot more deteriorated!).

Thugs are molesting citizens: rapes (presumably) and murders are committed. The only shop opened is the armourer’s. Clever.

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Below: the bad government. Wouldn’t that be great if bad politicians would grow tusks and horns? No more pretending to be honest when you have those!

The leader this time is awful Tyrannia. Above Tyrannia is the Unholy Trinity: Superbia (Pride), Avaritia (Greed) and Vanagloria (Boastfulness?). The evil councillors are Crudelitas (Cruelty), Proditio (Treason), Fraus (Fraud), Furor (Anger), Divisio (Division) and Guerra (War). Damn them!

Oh, and Justitia is bound, helpless, at their feet.

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Isn’t that impressive?

  1. Translation is mine, there must be a better one somewhere else.

Bloody revolution: Morbidly inspiring

Poirier de Dunkerke, Les formes acerbes

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That’s a denunciation of one Joseph Le Bon, a man who oversaw with (lets be cynical) excessive enthusiasm the death sentences under revolutionary France’s Terreur. Ironically, he was himself executed not much later under charge of « abuse of power ».

The imagery is purposefully evocative in order to shock, obviously. A madman drinking the still-hot blood of its victims, having to gulp it down  fast, it seems and  standing ahead a growing pile of corpses with the Furies (to the right) at his side. Note also the crowd waiving pitifully at the cloud, waiting for divine retribution…

Put that in a fantasy world (a grim one indeed) and its no longer mere moral reprobation, it could be really happening.

Who is this guy (Mister Blood Drinker) in my setting? I don’t know yet. He must be somewhere in the past I think. Maybe he’s one of the Three Tyrants. Or more simply an agent for one of them. We’ll see.

As for divine help/retribution, in my world as well as in the real: don’t wait for it…