The Furniture Mishandling Club

ec79677462d55591972cc5f6776ce7f3Les bahuts, monsieur, répliqua l’architecte, les bahuts, meuble obligé d’une maison moyen âge ! Le moyen âge et le bahut sont inséparables ! Le bahut, madame, ajouta-t-il, en se tournant vers Malvina, le bahut, c’est le coffre au linge, l’armoire à glace, la commode, le secrétaire de nos aïeux. Le bahut et le prie-dieu, voilà la grande ébénisterie du xive siècle !  (Louis ReybaudJérôme Paturot, 1842)

The members of the Furniture Mishandling Club (FMC) are known far and wide for their love of barricade building and their signature magic ability to cast animate object on, well, any furniture they can put their hands on. They even create furniture golems!



The FMC loves gratuitous mayhem but it has also a knack for extortion (great many houses have been emptied by its operators). They now have under their control three sub-precincts, delimited with their infamous, almost impassable barricades.

One such particularly impressive wall of furniture is purely defensive. The FMC blocked the gate leading to the Kwag Slums, to prevent an invasion on their eastern side by those crazy Kwaggers.


Gang Activities

  • extortion
  • intimidation
  • thieving
  • beating
  • reselling
  • tax to enter territory
  • cut from woodcraft’s guild

Most Noteworthy members

King Bahut (leader, dwarf)

The grizzled leader of the FMC was a member of the Resistance who fought against the Third Tyrant a century ago. It seems like he developped an obsession of barricades from this bloody era. He’s quite the brilliant guerilla tactician but he’s not entirely sane. He’s often found sitting on a gigantic, damaged throne that moves around.

Master Stool (dwarf)

A dwarf martial artist, he still laugh like a devil when he succeeds in tripping an opponent over  an animated stool with an adroit push of his quarterstaff, even after so many times.

Chairman Lookup (goblin)

Almost always on top of a barricade, the so-called Chairman loves to throw things from above. Chairs, bricks, rocks, nets, dead rats; he always prepare a good stash of ammos. He has a monkey pet that have strange, red, evil-looking eyes.

Maatelaah, Queen (of the) Bed (hobgoblin female)

When she’s not expertly directing the building of yet another pile of furniture, « Queen » Maatelaah loves to terrorize the neighborhood with a bunch of thugs, snatching anything she wants, the animated bed following her dutifully serving as transport.

Captain Chiffonnier (human male)

The pedantic « Captain » Chiffonier has a much profitable business relation with the woodcrafting’ s guild. Taking away so much furniture from the people in the vicinity of the FMC also creates a need and such an unscrupulous fellow as Chiffonier wants what he thinks is his due.



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